For the majority, the first response is that it’s a feeling of confidence. Others may think of confidence as a personality trait, a belief in their abilities, or self-esteem. However, none of these are truly what confidence is.
Confidence is not a feeling. Feelings such as nervousness, anxiety, apprehension, and fear are normal with or without confidence. Confident people still have these feelings.
Confidence is not a personality trait. Many people interpret extroverts or those who live in the spotlight as being confident. Many people judge introverts as not being confident. The reality is many seemingly outgoing people have very low levels of confidence and many reserved people with extremely high levels of confidence.
Confidence is not an ability. Being good at something is competence, not confidence. You can say that you are confident of being good at something or bad at something. This is our self-talk and belief system, not confidence. For example, saying you are confident that you are a terrible speaker tends to become a self-fulfilling prophecy, causing you to create the outcome that you expect, and then validating that belief system.
Confidence is not self-esteem. If you believe your confidence is improved by success, and diminished by failure, then you’re talking about self-esteem, not confidence. In general, building your self-esteem is healthy – it encourages you to think positively about yourself. But, while it may make you feel good about yourself at the moment, it doesn’t lead to true confidence. Some people may act confidently by being arrogant, or constantly competing. In this case, your ego is big, but your self-esteem is vulnerable. For example, if you build your self-esteem around your looks and your looks change, your self-esteem plummets. If you build it around being smart, and then find yourself around smarter people, you can feel inferior.
Confidence is not just knowing things or getting high grades or scores in academics. Knowing is data, it’s not confidence. Straight A’s or a PhD is the result of knowing data and applying it to a topic, project, product, or service.
So, what is confidence?
Confidence is a skill. It is a skill that can be developed and strengthened. Confidence is the willingness to try, combined with your self-trust that you will figure it out. A willingness to try means having a willingness to act, even in the face of fear and uncertainty. This is linked to our Intelligence of the Will. Confidence is developed and strengthened by taking action regardless of the outcome.
When you define confidence based on action regardless of the outcome, it allows you to develop competency. To do this, you need to identify what areas you want to develop confidence in. Then, create a goal for this area and take action in that direction.
When you take action, you learn, you grow, you develop, and you build confidence. Then you apply what you’ve learned to improve your abilities, which builds competency. This results in higher self-esteem and as a result, your competency improves. Yet even if your competency doesn’t improve in a skill or ability, confidence can be improved by the consistency of willingness to take action.
Ultimately, this action leads to true confidence because you know that no matter where you are now, your willingness to try and take action is what unlocks your future and full potential – with confidence.